Frustrated IT Person Can someone help me

Instructions are not followed

1. You are not a role model yourself

Are you not following your instructions? It could be because of your role model function. "If rules are set, then everyone has to adhere to them - including the boss, but he doesn't always do it." This interview shows that employees are very clear when you as the boss 'preach water, but drink wine yourself' .

My recommendation: consistently set an example of what you expect from your employees. Or to put it casually: No extra sausage for you as the boss.

2. They don't communicate the meaning

"We always did it that way, why do we have to do it differently now?"

The more confident and qualified employees are, the more likely they are to question instructions. This is particularly the case when they are not involved in the decision-making process, but are presented with a fait accompli. If you don't communicate the 'why' convincingly, you shouldn't be surprised at the lack of understanding of the necessity. If there are no plausible reasons for an instruction, employees do not consider it important. This reduces the likelihood that your employees will follow them.

My recommendation: At this point, openness and transparency are required. The more important implementation is to you, the more time you should devote to persuading. This will save you time again afterwards.

3. You formulate your expectations unclearly

Unclear communication creates misunderstandings, frustration and anger. You know what you mean by "Please take care of ...". Your employee may mean something else by this. Another example: You are annoyed because the task has not yet been completed. Unfortunately, you forgot to inform your colleague about the timing. Unfortunately, the person opposite can neither clairvoyance nor read minds.

My recommendation: Always say: Who does WHAT, WHY, HOW, WITH WHAT and WHEN? Short, precise sentences or words make it easier to understand. The Kiss formula sums it up: Keep it short and simple. Another tip: Avoid stimulating words such as “must”, because they create unconscious resistance.

4. You proceed according to the “try and error principle”

In my experience, bosses often formulate their instructions vaguely because they are not yet clear about what the result should be. At this point you only have a rough idea of ​​the route and destination. After the announcement “Do it…”, your employee is committed to getting things done. Once they have the result, they realize that you don't want it in this form. You formulate your change requests and your employee goes back to the implementation. Gradually approach the goal. The “try and error principle”, possibly with multiple correction loops, wastes time and frustrates every employee. It is easy to understand that they quickly lose the desire to follow the boss's instructions.

My recommendation: Make sure you are clear about the exact requirements and your expectations in advance. This is time well invested, with which you also avoid demotivation among your employees.

5. You don't deserve respect

Are your employees married? What are the names of your children? Where were they in their holidays? What are your passions in your free time? If you can't answer any of these questions, it is time to fundamentally reconsider your posture. Insecure and inexperienced managers in particular want to appear professional. They think that being aloof can earn them respect. However, you seem unsympathetic to unbearable when you as a manager are distant, closed and uninterested. In the worst case, your employees will have the impression that you don't care about them. Nobody wants to work for someone who is only interested in productivity. The instructions from such bosses are (un) consciously often misunderstood or forgotten.

My recommendation: take into account that everyone wants to be recognized and valued. Take an interest in your employees and listen to them. As a manager, you should also listen to the needs and concerns of your employees. With all the stress: If you think “please”, “thank you” and a smile are superfluous, you save at the wrong end. Show a minimum of courtesy despite time pressure.

6. You don't know the 'implicit' rule

Every company has a multitude of 'implicit' rules. These are very effective, even if they are not set out in writing and may say the opposite of the official rules. The secret rule of the game ‘“ Instructions from the boss do not have to be obeyed ”occurs more often in teams than expected. It becomes clear, for example, in employee statements such as "This is simply not done and then it fizzles out."

My recommendation: Clarify whether the implicit rule “Instructions do not have to be followed” works for you. If so, change the rule. The decisive factor is your consistency.

7. You are not consistent

Many people like to take the most comfortable route. Why should employees follow your instructions when not doing anything has no consequences?

My recommendation: ask regularly about the status of implementation and the result. Carry out the controls closely at the beginning. If your employees slowly get used to working independently, loosen the controls. When you notice that you can rely on your employees, you only control as much as is absolutely necessary. Then give them enough freedom and personal responsibility.

Set consequences that ensure compliance. Maintain your credibility: If you announce consequences, it is imperative that they happen. The spectrum ranges from a critical look to critical discussions in private to warnings and termination. However, you shouldn't just think about penalties. First and foremost, use consequences of a positive nature for desired behavior: a desired training measure, salary bonus or promotion. Free of charge and especially important: Praise and recognition for the person concerned.

8. Your leadership role is not recognized

Difficult people who do not recognize your leadership can make your life and work very difficult. This often happens when you were a colleague before and are now boss. Perhaps the colleague even wanted to sit in the executive chair himself. Or you are significantly younger as a new manager. Your employees then topped your instructions or questioned your expertise. Often they also present opinions as facts and try to confuse you with killer phrases or murderous arguments. In addition, your employees can unfairly attack, provoke or attack you personally in discussions.

My recommendation: Counter questions are suitable as a first aid measure for countering. For example, to “That doesn't work” you can answer “Where do you see the difficulties? What exactly speaks against it? You seem concerned, what are your arguments for this? That is a very general statement, what is your specific objection? How could it work? "

If there is no improvement, you should have a one-to-one conversation, because such situations are very costly. Give the employee concerned specific feedback and talk about the situation at the meta level. Another possibility: You decide to give the employee in question officially the responsibility for a small working group. There he can be a bit of a boss himself.

9. They don't take personality into account

Personality is shaped in the first few years of life and is also clearly evident in everyday working life. Employees with certain backgrounds find it difficult to bear being patronized. They do not like rules about how to do their job and are usually convinced that they are doing everything right themselves. Such employees prefer to organize their work themselves without letting themselves be talked into how and when. Recommended reading: Fuchs-Brüninghoff, Elisabeth; Gröner, Horst: Shaping cooperation successfully. Original edition, Munich: Beck 1999.

My recommendation: If possible, just give these people the framework. Accordingly, you agree on the rough procedure together. You then give them sufficient freedom in implementation. It is also a good way to have employees make suggestions for implementation. Most of the time you will be able to live with one of the suggestions.

10. You play the "stupid game"

Of course, employees must be or become qualified for their work. Resources such as time and budget must also be available. Instead of not being able to do this, however, it is about not wanting to. In the past, men supposedly liked to play the game while doing housework and acted "stupid". It's similar at work, but mostly unconsciously. Your counterpart is always clueless, even though you have already explained the respective task to him several times. But what to do if you suspect that an employee is engaging you in psychological games? Recommended reading: Dehner, Renate; Dehner, Ulrich: Put an end to these games. Limited special edition, Frankfurt: Campus 2014.

My recommendation: Experts advise in such situations to keep playing the ball back: “How would you do it? How did you do it last time? ”Or you agree on certain rules of the game: The employee notes his question and thinks about at least three answers. Then he decides on the best solution from his point of view. If he still has a question, he can speak to his boss - but he must bring his note with him.

11. Values ​​stand in the way

People act according to their own value system. Incidentally, successful companies are characterized by an above-average level of similarity in their value cultures. If your instructions conflict with the employee's values, implementation becomes unlikely. An example: An employee for whom the value "honesty" is very important will not lie for you. He will also not “stretch” the truth or call it “alternative facts”. So he won't deny you on the phone or pay for the tax office.

My recommendation: Be clear about your own values. Do you suspect that there are value differences in your team? Then talk to your employees about it and develop a common value system.


In a specific case, go through the following checklist. Once you've identified a reason, adjust your behavior accordingly.

  • Am i a role model? Do you set an example of what I expect from my employees?
  • Am I communicating the meaning? Am I doing enough persuasion?
  • Do I formulate my expectations clearly and precisely?
  • Do I follow the “try and error principle”?
  • Do I deserve the respect of my employees?
  • Are there any implicit rules that I haven't yet recognized?
  • Am i consistent enough?
  • Will my leadership role be recognized?
  • Have I taken the personality of my employees into account?
  • Is someone playing the "stupid game" with me?
  • Am I violating the personal values ​​of my employees?

Have you tried everything, but still stuck? Please give me a call or send me a message.