What is the fear of engagement
10 signs your lover's engagement phobia
True engagement phobia is fear any Type of engagement that other people are involved in - not just relationship engagement. There can be difficulty in making important decisions in all areas of life. However, people with engagement phobia are not afraid to get involved in things that other people are not involved in. You can't have a problem buying a house or a car or having a dog. Your fear is usually related to making a promise to another person.
Falling in love with someone with an engagement phobia can be a nightmare. Before falling hopelessly in love with someone who is unable to have a relationship, watch for signs of engagement phobia. A person with commitment phobia doesn't have to show each of the following symptoms, but the more symptoms they show, the more likely they are to have the disease.
1. Your previous relationships are all brief and / or very non-committal.
If your boyfriend has never been married and has had a number of brief relationships even though he or she wasn't that young, he or she is unlikely to have a long-term relationship in the future either. It's also a red flag if your romantic encounter had long-term relationships, but those relationships didn't involve any serious commitment on his part.
2. You are not prepared to commit to appointments or evenings weeks in advance.
Making plans for the future that aren't strictly necessary is a major cause of anxiety for someone with an engagement phobia. He or she will prefer to make plans on the same day or commit just a few days in advance.
3. They don't let you know if they're attending your party.
Just as a person with an obligation phobia is afraid of making appointments several days or weeks in advance, they will also have difficulty saying "yes" to a party or meeting unless they are strictly required to do so. They can say they are coming to your party or even that they will likely be there. But they will prefer not to say for sure that they can do it.
4. You use a lot of modifiers when you speak.
If you listen carefully, you will hear that they use "probably", "maybe", "probably not", "I could", "I couldn't" and the like much more often than other people. When asked what time to get home from work, don't say you will be home by 5 a.m. Instead, they'll say they'll likely be home by 5am.
5. They are sexually active, maybe even promiscuous.
People with engagement phobia have a need for intimacy just like anyone else. But their need is not met by being close to another person. To compensate for this, they can be very sexually active and sometimes border on promiscuity.
6. Most of their relationships are undefined.
If you are in a relationship with someone with an engagement phobia, most likely you have not had significant conversations with them about your relationship. You may not know what type of relationship you are in, even though you have been with him or her for several years.
7. You don't say the L word.
People with engagement phobia have difficulty expressing their feelings. You may even be afraid to have feelings. So they are unlikely to say they love you and mean it.
8. They don't like to use the words "boyfriend" and "girlfriend".
When your love interest is very engaged, even the relatively innocent words "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" mean more engagement than they can. They may simply avoid talking about the status of your relationship or they may offer a lame excuse for not wanting to use these labels.
9. You don't have a lot of close friends.
You may know a lot of people. You can even call them friends. But they don't have a lot of really close friends. There is most likely no one in their life to talk to about anything.
10. You are unpredictable.
You never know exactly how your love interest will behave or what mood they will be in. One day they may be really cute and seem almost normal, and the next day they can avoid you altogether. Your behavior surprises you again and again.
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