Is empathy self-destructive

7 signs that someone is a self-destructive person

Last update: August 31, 2020

In theory, we all seek happiness and adapt our actions to our goal. In practice, however, many do not act accordingly. But on the contrary. Without knowing why, their actions harm each other. In this case we are talking about someone being a self-destructive person.

Here we should note that a self-destructive person does not act as he does because he wants to. In truth, she feels bad, but fails to figure out why. She then develops behaviors that are harmful to herself.

We all have such traits in us. But some people let it become a personality trait. A self-destructive person will often punish himself with feelings of guilt arising from imaginary events.

In this article we want to show the seven traits of a self-destructive person.

"In the history of mankind, every act of destruction sooner or later finds its answer in an act of creation."

Eduardo Galeano

What are the signs that someone is a self-destructive person?

1. She reacts sadly or irritably when she achieves an important goal

While it may seem strange, once a self-destructive person has achieved an important goal, they feel an unfathomable emptiness. She worked hard to get there, but at the end of the day that doesn't satisfy her.

Given her successes, she is in some ways sad and sometimes angry. She almost always tries to downplay her successes. She then says that it is absurd to be happy about such trivial things. This is a clear indication that this person is a self-destructive person.

2. She provokes others and feels guilty afterwards

A self-destructive person is usually very prone to conflict, without knowing why. Nor can she let go of the tendency to spark an argument about everything. In extreme cases she always denies what others say yes. When their fellow men "White" say, she says of course "black".

In discussions with others, it is not uncommon for them to become verbally aggressive or use inappropriate expressions. Once an argument is over, she feels extremely guilty for starting it. She also regrets what she said and the way she said it.

3. She does not acknowledge that she is indeed feeling good

A self-destructive person is never satisfied. Her biggest problem is constantly feeling dissatisfied, especially when she has done something herself that was supposed to please her. She focuses more on the negative than the positive.

If she does feel good and you can see it, it bothers her even more. She then replies that you are wrong. She is then even on the alert. Deep down, she searches for reasons to no longer feel good and to confirm her subjective attitude that she is bad.

4. She fails to keep commitments that are critical to her goals

A self-destructive person is boycotting himself. She definitely does this unconsciously. That is why she forgets important appointments, overslepts important events or is wrong with them in prehistoric times.

It is just as if she had to destroy her well-being again and again. When she misses great opportunities because she forgot or remembered them differently, she finds a new reason to punish herself again.

5. She quickly sacrifices herself for others

It is not only good but also very constructive to do something for others. However, in the case of a self-destructive person, these selfless acts have a different meaning. She believes that she always has to put others above herself in order to make the life of others more pleasant.

She quickly trades her own welfare for that of others. She is able to give her last shirt for someone or just give away an item that is very valuable to her. Basically, she feels guilty about something - usually imaginary guilt - and that excessive generosity is a way of punishing yourself and thereby freeing yourself from guilt.

6. She does not defend herself

A self-destructive person cannot defend himself. She even feels that she doesn't have the right to protect her own interests. She does not have a good opinion of herself and therefore feels that she is not worth wasting energy trying not to get hurt.

In a way, these people believe that others have the right to mistreat them. Many of these self-destructive behaviors start with childhood abuse. That's why it's something “normal” for them.

7. Boycott relationships that are going well

It is very difficult for a self-destructive person to develop affective bonds with others. Basically, she absolutely believes that she deserves neither love nor attention. Sometimes she even thinks that she doesn't even deserve friendships. She has this feeling because she doesn't value herself.

When, for once, she has a well-functioning relationship with someone, it feels very strange to her. Inside her, a small voice keeps telling her that something is going bad. Because of this, she becomes moody, possessive, and even hurtful. In this way, she destroys this well-functioning relationship.

A self-destructive person suffers greatly and also causes suffering to others. Sometimes it is so difficult to deal with such a person that they lead a very lonely life. Unfortunately, his chances of growing are rather slim. Therefore, this is one of those cases that needs psychotherapeutic help.

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